This Is Staying Power

In the ebb and flow of relationships, especially in the dance between masculine and feminine energies, one of the most important dynamics to understand is the difference in tempo. As men, we often move with more speed, efficiency, and the drive to accomplish and complete.

For our feminine partners, especially in relationships where polarity and emotional connection are valued, the desired pace can often feel much slower.

If we desire to cultivate deep intimacy and enjoy it, we get to learn how to meet her in her preferred slowness—embracing the slower rhythm, especially during certain phases of her cycle.

The Feminine Desire for Slowness

Women, particularly during the luteal phase of their menstrual cycle (the days leading up to menstruation), naturally experience a slowing down in their energy. It is during this time that they are more inward, and reflective, and may feel a need to move through life at a gentler, more deliberate pace.

This is present beyond the hormonal shifts too. On the macro level, women often prefer to move through life more slowly than men do. They want to fully feel their emotions, process their experiences, and express themselves in their totality without rushing or being rushed.

This slower pace is not only physical, it's energetic too. It's about savoring the moment, deepening into feelings and pleasure, and letting thoughts and emotions unravel in their own time.

As men, when we encounter this slowness, it can be a challenge. Our natural inclination is often to fix, to hurry, or to push forward. But if we can learn to meet our partners in this slower rhythm, we can create a space where they feel safe, seen, and able to express themselves fully.

The Challenge for Men: Unwavering Presence in Slowness; Staying Power

One of the biggest hurdles we face as men is staying present in our partner’s slowness when our nervous system wants to become dysregulated. In moments where the feminine energy slows down, it may feel like time is stretching, and we might find ourselves growing impatient, anxious, or restless.

Our nervous system is often primed to go, to take action, and to solve problems. When confronted with a partner who wants to slow down, it can feel as though we are being asked to wait indefinitely, and this can trigger a sense of discomfort.

The challenge then becomes: how can we allow our partner to move at her slower pace without rushing her, and meeting her there while simultaneously keeping ourselves calm and grounded?

Nervous System Regulation: The Power of Breath

The most powerful tool we can employ in these moments is our breath.

Our breath is the gateway to our nervous system, and it has the ability to shift us from a state of anxiety or urgency to a state of calm presence. When we find ourselves in those moments where we want to hurry things along, where we’re growing uncomfortable with the slowness, we can use our breath as an anchor to center ourselves and our energy.

Here’s a simple practice:

1. Breathe in from the root: As you inhale, imagine pulling energy up from the base of your spine (your root) into your heart. Feel the strength and space of your core.

2. Expand into the heart: Let the breath rise into your chest, expanding your heart. As you do this, visualize opening yourself up to the present moment and the energy of your partner. Rather than pushing for action, simply allow.

3. Exhale back down to the root: As you exhale, send the breath back down through your body, allowing any tension or impatience to release. Feel your body relaxing into the present moment.

4. Repeat: Continue this cycle of breathing, up from your root and down again, with the intention of slowing your internal pace to match your partner’s energy.

This is staying power.

This practice not only helps regulate your own nervous system, but it also sends a message to your partner that you are present with her, that you are not rushing her, and that you are holding the space with her to move at her own pace.

This will make her feel safer, more understood, and more able to express herself fully; her trust in you will deepen.

Staying Power: The Ability to Meet, and Stay With the Feminine in Her Full Expression

When you create a space where your partner feels safe to slow down and express herself fully, you unlock an incredible depth of connection.

Her slowness is an invitation for deeper intimacy. Women often want to be fully seen and understood and to reach this level of connection, they need time and space to express the entirety of their emotions and feelings.

By meeting her in this slowness, you are not only giving her the space to go slow, you are communicating that you value her emotional process, and that you are willing to move with her at her pace. This is what creates true intimacy and trust.

Staying power is not just about being there physically—it’s about emotionally and energetically being present too.

When you slow down your breath, regulate your nervous system, and meet her in her rhythm, you are saying, “I am here with you. I am holding this space for you to be all that you are.”

Conclusion: The Art of Presence in Slowness

As men, learning to navigate the slowness of our partners is not about sacrificing our own desires, but about cultivating the strength to hold space for both. By using our breath to regulate our nervous system, we can meet our partners in their slowness, fostering deeper connection and allowing their full expression to come through and be witnessed.

In this, we become not only better partners, but more grounded, present, and resilient men.

Staying power in relationships is about creating the space where both partners can thrive in their own energy and pace— leading to greater harmony, understanding, love, and truth.

Sam Gibbs Morris
Conscious Relationship Coach | Psychedelic Wayshower
Men's Work | Psychedelics | Spirituality | Yogic Leadership
Founder - āletheia breath + sound™
Founder - The Conscious Outlaw Kollective™
Go Blue!