Please, Trigger Me.

For most people when you hear the word "triggers" the immediate reaction is probably slight apprehension.

The dreaded triggers lead us to tiptoeing around our partners, hoping to avoid stepping on any sensitive areas, we feel like we're walking on eggshells.

Try this on on for size; instead of avoiding these triggers, we embraced them as opportunities? 

What if, instead of saying, “I’ll do this to avoid triggering you,” we began asking, “Can I handle this trigger? Can we handle this trigger together?”

Moving from Avoidance to Acceptance

🚨NEWS FLASH🚨 Triggers are inevitable in relationships. 

The deeper, more intimate, and more sacred the bond, the more amplified each other’s sore spots will be.

Here's the truth; avoiding triggers isn’t the answer.

When you sidestep them, you might think you're protecting your partner... you aren’t truly protecting our partner though, nor are you protecting yourself. This is called codependency and you're perpetuating the root cause of the trigger itself.

Avoiding triggers not only leads to more disruption and conflict but also fuels trauma-bonding, a connection built on unhealed wounds rather than Love and Truth.

Avoidance keeps us locked in patterns, holding us back from deeper intimacy and the freedom that conscious, authentic connection offers.

The Divine Masculine and Holding Space

In conscious relationships, the role of the divine masculine often involves holding space with a powerful, non-reactive and unwavering presence that allows our partner to fully express themselves, especially in moments of discomfort.

Holding space doesn’t mean staying silent; it means being present and compassionate, grounding the relationship during challenging conversations.

This requires us to cultivate the ability to hold space by grounding ourselves in the face of uncomfortable emotions. It involves recognizing that being triggered is not inherently negative but rather an invitation to dive deeper into ourselves and our connection within the union.

Triggers have the potential to guide us toward areas within ourselves that are calling for healing, allowing us to embody our highest selves in our partnerships.

Triggers as Pathways to Growth + Connection

When we shift our perspective, triggers become welcome visitors instead of dreaded enemies. They’re indicators, pointing us toward unresolved emotions, unhealed wounds, or unmet needs. They reveal our capacity for self-regulation and the ways we can better communicate and connect with our partners.

Imagine a hard conversation where instead of thinking, “How can I avoid triggering them?” we thought, “If a trigger comes up how can we navigate this together?”

Suddenly, the conversation shifts from one of avoidance to one of connection and growth. Embracing triggers invites us to ask, “Can I call myself back to center during this trigger?", and, "Can I support my partner in doing the same?”

By holding ourselves and our partner with grace through triggers, we increase the resilience of our relationship. The more we practice, the easier it becomes to call ourselves back to center, grounding both in the relationship and within ourselves.

The Healing Power of Conscious Relationships

Relationships are ceremonies. We are called to be our most vulnerable, authentic, and rawest selves. Conscious relationships require the courage to face triggers and the dedication to work through them together. Rather than running from the discomfort, we can use these moments to foster greater empathy and understanding.

When we avoid triggers, we’re avoiding a vital aspect of our growth and healing. Each trigger we encounter offers a choice: we can either push it away and contract, allowing it to fester and deepen our unconscious patterns, or we can face it head-on and expand, learning more about ourselves and our partners in the process.

The Role of the Nervous System in Trigger Healing

A conscious relationship invites us to explore and regulate our nervous system. When we are triggered, our bodies respond, often in ways that bypass rational thinking. This is where nervous system healing becomes essential. By learning to soothe and stabilize our nervous system, we increase our ability to hold space for triggers rather than being controlled by them.

Practices like breathwork, meditation, and grounding exercises can support us in building a resilient nervous system. This resilience enables us to stay present and regulated when triggers arise, ultimately fostering a safe environment for both partners to explore the depths of their connection.

Triggers for Lasting Change

Remember, embracing triggers doesn’t mean actively seeking to provoke your partner or coddle our own wounding. Kindness, compassion, and empathy are essential as we navigate these seas. It’s not about intentionally pushing buttons but about recognizing that when triggers do arise, they are opportunities to learn and grow.

Triggers are not prison sentences; they are pathways to liberation.

They allow us to process, purge, and heal, moving us toward the freedom and intimacy that conscious relationships offer. By acknowledging our triggers, holding space, and staying present, we transform our connections into powerful, sacred ceremonies of growth and healing.

Avoiding each other’s (and our own) triggers is not the way. The way is to start embracing them as the transformative teachers they are.

In the dance of conscious relationships, triggers are the music that calls us to greater harmony.

If you're interested in 1-1 coaching, please reply to this email or reach out to me on Instagram @samgibbsmorris