Be A Warrior That's Not At War

The hero’s journey is often glorified for its intensity, its challenges, it's looked as the ultimate right of passage for men.

We celebrate the slaying of dragons, the staring down the demons confronted, and overcoming the monsters. The transformation the hero undergoes turns him into the man he was meant to become.

And... there’s a part of this journey that’s often forgotten, the crucial final step: the return home.

The return home is where the hero faces his most profound challenge; the version of himself without a war to wage.

It’s about coming back with the wisdom earned and the scars endured, and finding a way to integrate this newfound depth into everyday life.

This, my friends, is the true journey of the Divine Masculine. It’s about finding sacred union within yourself, learning to hold space for your own pain, and then bringing that fullness into your relationships— especially your intimate one.

The Call to Adventure and Facing the Demons

As men, we’re often called to adventure in some way. We may feel an urge to conquer, to prove ourselves, or to face challenges that push us to our limits. We’re encouraged to stare down our demons, to wrestle with the monstrous forces that lie within our psyche, and to venture into the unknown. This is the moment we step into the hero’s shoes and begin the battle.

We’re taught to “slay our dragons,” but rarely are we taught what to do afterward. After we’ve conquered, after we’ve endured, after we’ve emerged from the chaos, what then?

When the smoke clears, there’s an often-overlooked part of this journey: the being with ourselves and connecting to our woman.

This is where I see men falter.

We desire deep connection with our partners and we can't seem to navigate these waters.

The Return Home

For me, this was my path.

I fought every fight, and I walked through every scalding hot fire. I won battles, and got my ass kicked by addiction and heartbreak.

I stood face to face with every part of myself I had ever tried to exile.

Even after all of that, there was still a part of me left unresolved. My masculine pain lingered, despite all the battles won. I thought I couldn’t return home until that pain was completely gone, until I was finally “done" fighting.

I didn’t understand that the pain is meant to be carried back with me. So I stayed out there, fighting imaginary dragons, thinking the battle was still ongoing because I couldn’t make peace with my pain. I was afraid that bringing it home would somehow contaminate or destroy everything I desired to experience; love, connection, success and abundance.

But here’s the truth I discovered: our pain is a part of us, it's not going anywhere.

It's not meant to be obliterated; it's meant to be understood and integrated. The return home is not about coming back without pain. It’s about coming back with it in check, with the capacity to hold it and still offer love and depth to our world with MUCH bigger capacity.

The Divine Masculine and Sacred Union

The Divine Masculine is not a warrior who is constantly at war. He’s a warrior who learns to lay down his sword, and who learns to embrace his darkness and his pain turning it all into conscious awareness.

This doesn’t make him weak. In fact, it makes him stronger, more whole, and more present.

In conscious relationships, especially with women who are attuned to their own depths, this integration is what creates true connection. What women desire isn’t a man who is free from pain, but one who can hold his pain. One who can hold space for her darkness, her pleasure, her depth, and her fullest expression because he has learned to hold his own.

This is where sacred union begins. It is in the willingness to come home with everything you’ve gathered on your journey, including the pain, and to share it with openness and vulnerability. This union is about depth, about bringing the entirety of who you are into connection with another and holding all of it with grace and range.

Embracing Depth and Coming Höm

Depth comes from how much pain of your own you can hold. It comes from the courage to come home with that pain and stand in your vulnerability and your dignity. This is the gift of the hero’s journey: the ability to embrace the messiness of being human and to integrate it into the life when you put down your sword.

In the process of coming home, we learn to embrace our shadows, our wounds, and our stories. We bring back a heart that has felt the fires of transformation. And in doing so, we offer a gift to our partners and to the world— the gift of our own humanity, held in our own hearts and balls.

As we close this chapter on the hero’s journey, remember: The world needs you whole, not just healed. It needs you present, not drifted off to sea. It needs you to bring your depth, your scars, and your true self back to where you belong. It needs you to come home.

Embrace the Return:

I invite you to reflect on what “coming home” means for you.

Is there a part of your journey you’ve been avoiding?

Is there a piece of yourself you’ve been reluctant to bring back? Step into the fullness of who you are, and bring it home with you. There, you will find the sacred union you seek.

When you're ready to learn how to step in and hold the divinity of your masculine essence, reply to this email with "The Mountain" to book a call for 1-1 coaching.